


don't leave me tongue tied

by aceofdiamonds



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 10:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2345453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceofdiamonds/pseuds/aceofdiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a five times robb and theon get caught making out by various members of the stark family and one time they don't hide their feelings thing</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't leave me tongue tied

**Author's Note:**

> i feel this is bordering on cracky but who knows

i.

 

Sansa drops her pen on to her desk with a groan, tilting her head back. This essay is slowly draining the life from her. She rocks forward again to stare at the paragraph that hasn't grown in the last hour. 

Underlining a couple of words for the sake of making it look like she knows what she's doing, she asks herself for the tenth time that night what she was thinking when she chose French in the first place. French boys aside, the subject sucks.

It's unlikely Robb still has any essays or notes still in his room after the clear out Mum made him have last summer but Sansa's down to desperation and this is her only option left before the tears come so she leaves her room and makes her way down the hall to Robb's. 

She knocks once, turning the handle and walking in before giving him a chance to reply, which is where everything falls apart. "Robb, d'you -- oh!"

"Shit!" She's never heard Theon yelp that high before.

Sansa watches her brother stumble to his feet as Theon does a sort of wriggle on the bed and grabs for his t-shirt. 

"Um," she says into the silence and then giggles at the looks on their faces. 

Robb wrinkles his nose, turning to look at Theon for answers. "It's not --" 

"-- what it looks like?" Theon finishes for him, rolling his eyes then glaring at Sansa. With the mussed-up hair, swollen lips, and the fact that she just saw him kissing Robb pretty enthusiastically, it doesn't quite reach its intended effect. "What do you even want?"

"Just looking for something for school but it's not important at the moment." Sansa waves her hand vaguely, inching back towards the door. 

"Sansa," Robb says then, his voice pitching close to a whine. He's still hovering beside the bed, his hand inches from Theon's ankle. "You won't...?"

"Your secret's safe with me, boys," she assures them, winks for good measure, and then leaves the room, closing the door on the suspicious look Theon is sending her. 

She pauses on the way back to her room, listening to the low murmurs that are now coming from Robb's. It's not -- it wasn't a complete surprise, she supposes, now she thinks about it. They've been friends for forever, always so close, Theon practically lives here. Yeah. Now she's seen Robb with his hand down Theon's jeans when she looks back over the past few months she can see that no, it's not actually that out of the blue.

And god, a secret relationship is so romantic. 

****  
  


 

ii.

Jon doesn't know whose party this is. He doesn't even know why he's here, full stop. But Ygritte said about coming and it's hard to say no to her sometimes so here he is, trying to make his way through to the kitchen and getting shoved from side to side in the process. Why is it so busy? Who the fuck is this kid? 

He finally reaches the make-shift bar in the corner of the kitchen and grabs a beer each for him and Ygritte, already sighing at the thought of heading back into the crowded hallway. 

"Jon!"

Sam's over by the oven with Gilly, both of them smiling wide at him. When he reaches them they pull him into a messy hug, arms everywhere.

"Surprised to see you here, Jon," Sam says.

"I could say the same for you."

Gilly laughs. "That's true. Where's Ygritte?"

Jon waves a hand behind him. "Somewhere over there. Last I saw she was talking to her archery club friends."

"Has she not persuaded you to join up yet?" Gilly asks, leaning against Sam. Her eyes are glazed and her smile is wonky. Jon feels the need to catch up.

"You know that's not my thing."

"Yeah, Gil," Sam adds. "Jon Snow doesn't have time for bows and arrows -- he's in it for swords and guns."

"You'll miss me when I'm gone." He's going so soon, another year here and then he's straight into training for the army if everything goes smoothly. He supposes he'll miss it here a little. The place more than the people in some cases.  

"Hey, isn't that Robb and Theon?"

Jon turns to see the two of them head up the stairs, Theon's hand on Robb's wrist as he leads him up out of sight.

"Are they --" Sam starts then trails off. Jon saw the grin on Theon's face that only comes out around Robb and the way they had been joined, the gesture intimate even from way over here. It's a fair question.

"Sam," Gilly admonishes him. "It's not our business," but she's looking at Jon who shrugs and says truthfully, "I don't know. Robb hasn't said anything."

"We're probably jumping to conclusions," Sam says, steering the conversation away to the kittens his cat had last week.

(Robb catches up with Jon later, his pupils blown and his smile wide and bright. His shirt isn't the one he was wearing earlier, Jon notes, and when he cranes his neck just a bit to where Theon is crossing the room towards them, he sees where his other one has gone.)

****  
  


 

iii.

 

"Have you finished this page yet, Rickon?" Robb asks, ducking his head to check the answers Rickon has already filled in.  **  
**

He gets a nod and then, "Can I get another sweet?"

Jon slides one across the table, smiling when Rickon shoots him a thumbs up. 

"Only one more after that," Robb says, so many years of their mother's warnings ringing in his head. "They're bad for your teeth."

Rickon frowns for a moment. "Is kissing bad for your teeth too?"

Robb laughs, gently taking the wrapper from Rickon's hand and replacing it with his pencil, tipping his head towards the homework. "What makes you think that?" 

"When you and Theon were kissing he was making a sound like you were hurting him," he says, concern for Theon clear in his voice. Rickon _loves_  Theon.

Jon makes a sort of choking sound across the table. Robb ignores him. “Uh -- well, he wasn’t kissing me, actually --”

“That’s what it looked like,” Rickon says, twisting the rubber off the end of his pencil.

“No, he was checking my mouth. I had a sore mouth.”

“From too many sweets?”

“Yes, that’s right. Are you okay, Jon?”

“I think I’m fine,” he wheezes, his grin bursting through his fingers, “but maybe you should check my mouth just in case.”

Rickon laughs and laughs, his hands clapping together and all his pearly white teeth showing, when Robb slings his arm around Jon’s neck and tackles him to the floor.

****  
  


 

iv.

 

**  
**The house is quiet when Gendry drops Arya off after football. She shouts a hello and when she gets nothing in return she grins and kicks off her muddy boots, pulling off her sweatshirt on the way to the utility room. **  
**

Where Robb is sitting on the washing machine with Theon standing between his legs and their hands are everywhere and they're making noises and --

"What the fuck?"

It's funny, the way Theon knocks his head off Robb's chin. It's also funny when they both turn to her with identical looks of shock before Theon sighs. "Fuck, Robb, what is it with your family and not fucking knocking?"

"This isn't a private space," Robb points out at the same time as Arya squawks, "This has happened  _before_?"

"We were in a private space that time," Theon says, scowling. Robb cups his chin and pulls him closer and if Arya doesn't say something they're going to go right back to what they were doing before without giving her any explanation.

"Are you shagging?"

" _Arya_ ," Robb says and shit, is he blushing?

"Are you blushing?"

"What we're doing is none of your concern," Robb says, pushing Theon gently in the chest so he can get down from washing machine.

"It is if you're doing it where I wash my clothes."

“The kid has a point,” which, she’ll take the support but not the _kid_.

“I’ll tell you all about it later, Arya,” Robb says, taking her sweatshirt from her hands and leading her back into the kitchen. “I promise.”

“You better put that in the machine before you two do anything else,” she shouts as she makes her way up the stairs. “It’s dirty enough.”

****  
  
  


v.

"Yeah but look at this," Jojen says, waving his phone in Bran's face so he’s only pushing Bran with one hand. They sway away to the side of the path momentarily. "This has all been documented. These are _facts_."

"I didn't disagree with you," Bran points out, because he never did but Jojen has taken his lack of enthusiasm as refusal to believe in all of this.  

"But you're not believing. You have to  _believe_."

"Stop stressing so many words to get your point across."

Jojen huffs. "Don't come to me when aliens take over and you're not prepared."

“Come over and we can marathon _Alien_ ,” Bran says, pushing the button at the pedestrian crossing.

“You sure that’ll be okay?”

Bran rolls his eyes. “Of course, Jojen. My mum thinks you’re a good influence.”

“It’s not like you’ve been led astray and I need to bring you back to the good side,” Jojen laughs, pushing Bran across the road.

“No, but Theon is round all the time, even more than usual recently actually, and Mum is worried he’s trying to corrupt us one by one.”

“Oh.”

“What? Why have we stopped?”

“Um. I can see Theon with your brother right now...”

“So?” Bran cranes his neck to see over the cars separating them from Robb’s. “Ugh now I owe Arya a tenner.”

“So you knew they were...” Jojen gestures to where Robb and Theon are definitely engaged in _something_.

“Arya caught them a couple of weeks ago but I didn’t believe her. Stupid of me now I think about it.”

“Well, you do have a tendency to ignore the obvious.”

“This has nothing to do with aliens.”

“Not quite.”

****  
  


 

+1

"I just wanted to tell you that Theon and I are dating," Robb announces to the room while everyone's watching TV.

Ned makes a sound caught between a cough and a gasp that he covers up by taking a gulp of his tea. "Is that right?"

Theon nods beside Robb, his eyes big and that ever-present smirk missing from his mouth. Catelyn narrows her eyes. When she first worked out the new level to their relationship she had dismissed as an experimental phase, just something best friends do at that age, but here they are telling the family. Theon has been the best friend Robb has ever had since they were three and now he’s somehow managed to make her son even happier.

"I thought you were going to tell us something exciting," Arya grumbles.

"This  _is_ exciting, Arya!" Sansa argues, sitting up in her chair with that look on her face she gets whenever romance is mentioned. "They've announced their love to the world."

"We all _knew_  anyway."

"I didn't," Ned offers, looking at his wife who smiles serenely.

"Is Theon going to live with us now?" Rickon asks and grins at Theon who grimaces in return.

"He practically does already," Jon says, and he must have known about it too, must have had some time to get used to it, because as much as they have their differences, Theon Greyjoy has always been a mutual dislike for Catelyn and Jon. Another similarity is their want for the family to be happy and Robb is terrified here but he’s smiling.

"Are you going to get married?"

"Rickon," Robb hisses, his cheeks scarlet.

“You can be my best man, mate, okay?” Theon says, moving past his nerves and winking at Rickon who beams.

“This is all going very fast, isn’t it?” Ned says, still looking stuck on the relationship announcement, never mind marriage talk. Catelyn puts her hand on his and gets across that this is what Robb wants and they can trust Theon. He nods and turns to the boys, says gruffly, “Okay, well, thank you for telling us, and we’ll support you in every way.”

Bran and Arya roll their eyes but smile encouragingly along with the rest of them.

“I don’t think they’re lacking confidence or anything,” Bran says.

“Yeah everyone’s caught them snogging at one point.”

“I think I saw more than snogging,” Sansa pipes up.

“And I never technically saw them, just put a lot of pieces together with the help of Rickon,” Jon adds.

“ _Everyone_  knew?” Robb asks.

“You weren’t exactly discreet, darling,” Catelyn says gently, “but we’re very happy for the two of you.”

“ _I_ didn’t know,” Ned says again, which seems to be a sort of comfort to Robb. Never mind this is him coming out to his family, he never thought he would be the one being surprised.

“You do now, Mr Stark,” Theon says, taking half a step back after he’s said as though Ned will get up and confront him over his obliviousness.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Robb continues. His arm swings back to catch at Theon’s elbow, tugging him over to the door. “Never mind. Now you all know we’re going upstairs.”

“Should we establish rules about doors?” Ned asks, frowning into his mug.

“I think it’s a bit late for that, Dad,” Sansa says, her eyes on the TV. “I can’t believe you never knew.”

“I can’t believe Rickon knew before me,” Bran sighs. Catelyn reaches out to ruffle his hair, running her hand down his neck.

“Hey! I’m smart.”

“You certainly are, sweetheart.”

****  
  


 

0.

****  
  


Catelyn is standing behind them when she catches Robb reaching down between them and curling his fingers around Theon’s, their own little secret. 

****  
  



End file.
